Why advertising?

So glad you asked; let me tell you. I have an insane digital footprint, like no doubt that I exist. Here’s a list of some things that are permanently on the internet: my audition for a Littlest Pet Shop commercial when I was 9 (didn’t land it), my lacrosse goalie highlight reels with wild background EDM music, an episode of my friend’s podcast I did in high school where I publically shared my deepest secrets, and unfortunately more. I won’t show you any of these but they’re remarkably easy to find. I can’t get them off the internet, I tried. To offset the absurd tone I put out, I made my name a URL where I beg for a copywriting job. Please hire me so I don’t have to resort to my fallback career as an Olympic diver:

Hire me!